tbt (19.12.2013)

It's that time of the week, again.

Now it's time to give some love to my dear cat, Aune. I had her for almost 15 years by my side. She was my true friend. There was no night when she didn't cuddle with me. She helped me with my homework. She always had her eyes on me. She never left home.

When I was staying in Uppsala, Sweden, in 2002, I got a phone call very early in the morning. I had been partying the whole night and was still a bit drunk when I heard my phone ringing. It was my mom. She was crying. Aune had passed away in the morning. Peacefully. 

I knew my friend was leaving for Finland in the evening. I called her and asked if I could join her. I could. The very next day we held a small funeral for Aune with my mom and dad. Everytime I pass her tombstone I cannot help but cry. She was my first love. I miss you so much, Aune!

Selfie (#hd)

#another #day #another #specs #hd

Quote for the Day (17.12.2013)

Greetings from Me

It wasn't me, it wasn't me.
I just want some of those doggie cookies that mama made me, I know they are on the kitchen table, I know. Those cookies are a Christmas gift for my dog friend, Väinö. I like to play with Väinö, a lot. Usually we just run and chase after each other.

I wish you a Merry Christmas, and lots of gifts!
Can you say "hippopotamus" - fast, ten times?

Yours truly,
mr. Ukko, HRH

Quote for the Day (15.12.2013)

 

Selfie (#harrypotter)

#another #day #another #specs #no filter #harrypotter #tractionproductions

tbt (12.12.2013)

Queen of the hill

PS In this photo you see the skater in me (wearing only Airwalk, and old Puma).

Leipuri Hii-iivaa-aa (trallallaa)

Olen huomannut itsessäni varsin omituisia piirteitä. Nimittäin.
Olen alkanut panostaa ruokaan pyrkien valmistamaan sen alusta alkaen mahdollisimman lähellä tuotetuista kotimaisista raaka-aineista. Tällä kertaa en tosin viittaa isääni ja hänen hirvisaaliiseensa. (http://apinkglove.blogspot.fi/2013/10/kasassa-keiton-ainekset-soup.html)

Skribenttinne, Leipuri Hiiva, pyöräyttää pari kertaa viikossa sämpylätaikinan!
Sämpyläresepti on kirjoitettuna punakantiseen reseptivihkoon, joten en ala sitä tähän sen tarkemmin kopioida. Eilen tulin heittäneeksi taikinaan mm. spelttijauhoja, leseitä, kurpitsansiemeniä ja pellavarouhetta. Lopputuloksia katsoessani aloin miettiä, mitä mahdoin unohtaa?

I love baking. It's my new hobby, you could say. Last night I baked buns. And something was definitely missing in my dough.

Alive

It's good to be alive.

By that I truly mean what I say: feels great to be alive.

I've been writing about being diagnosed with major depression almost two years ago mostly in Finnish. The reason for that is as simple as Finnish being my mother tongue, and thus making my writing more colorful - with meanings with greater depth. I apologize for that.

Now that I'm finally getting back - being the person I a m and h a v e been all my life I started to think about Peter Pan - a boy with elf-like ears and dark red hair. Peter symbolizes childhood for me, mostly in a good way. He may act selfish and careless but, yet, defends childhood and, I think, that inner child we all have in ourselves. Or that's something I personally treasure myself. I never want to grow up if it means being dull, being too conscious of one's actions, being too crafty... If I had to sum up my life in one sentence that sentence would definitely be: "If growing up means it would be beneath my dignity to climb a tree, I'll never grow up, never grow up, never grow up! Not me!" (J.M. Barrie) 

Why I address all this with first telling how I was diagnosed with major depression almost two years ago leads back to the matter that when I felt most depressed I couldn't find any happiness - not in my past, in my future, or in my present, either. I had put that inner child of me somewhere I couldn't find her, I didn't ever remember her, her existence. I lived in my past.

There are people who (say they) live in the moment. I guess I'm one of those people who try and live in the moment but who also plan for the future to make it a better one. By doing that I also treasure my past, try to raise things that I want to keep with me, in me. When I had those feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, and worthlessness I couldn't find any happiness in my past, in my future, in my present. My past = mistakes, wrong choices, my future = no hope, black hole,  my present = emptiness and depression. Now that I think back it seemed like I only had made mistakes in my past, mistakes that had ruined not only my future (not to mention my present) but also all the relationships I had made in my past. And that's something I didn't recognize in me - I have always had (big) hopes for the future (travels, relationships, hobbies...) but, yet, have I always lived my life, if not to the fullest, to the limit. 

All this being said I start making (big) plans, not only for my future, but also for my present.

"Never say goodbye because goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting."
J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan

Uppsala, Sweden, winter of 2001: Someone was knocking on my door. It was Mike, my Australian roommate. - Hey, Johanna! It's snowing outside! - Gosh, Mike, I'm sleeping. I hate snow! - Johanna, let's go outside...

Mää ja mun Ukitsu

Täs me köllötellään hra Ukitsun kans. Mä päällä, Ukitsu alla. Mut ei sitä haittaa.
Mulla on näköjään pala veskipaprua rillien sangan takana. Täytyy vissiin käydä optikolla... Mut, joo, me toivotetaan Ukitsun kanssa kaikille hyvää itsenäisyyspäivää! Mä lähen kotia iskän ja äiskän luo. Me katotaan äiskän kans Tuntematon sotilas. Äitillä on konjakkia, mulla likööriä lasis. hra Ukitsu nukkuu huomenna pitkään, ku sen mammalla ja papalla on vapaapäivä. Ukitsun pappa on ollu tänään pikkujouluus, joten se pitää herättää aamulla.

Eiks me olla kuiteski aika söpöjä? Tai ainaski mä.

"Me emme saa katsoa toisiamme niin, että totuuden paljastamme.

Laskemme sisään ja iäksi viereen. Tämä sääntö kolmas jo on.

Emme saa tarvita toisiamme niin, että vajotaan.

Emmekä elää voi omillamme. Tämä on sääntö lohduttomin."

We are having some quality time with mr. Ukko. Me on top but he doesn't mind. If you look close enough you can see tissue behind my ear. It's because of those stupid specs. But with this photo I just wanted to wish you all a happy December (and if you happen to live in Finland, Happy Independence Day)!

LOVE

Selfie (#geek)

#another #day #another #specs #no filter #geek #oscarmagnusonspectacles